For a long time, I was constantly plagued by the thought that I wasn’t good enough. In the sense that I wasn’t good enough for this guy or that job. Sometimes I even had a strong feeling of dissatisfaction, that what I was doing just wasn’t good enough. Basically, I didn’t feel good about myself and I couldn’t be happy when I felt that way. Today, I’ve freed myself from this feeling and as I’m committed to helping others, I’m telling you about it.
Before becoming a psychology writer, I had therapy myself. I talk about it here and there, in a whole load of my articles. It was a pivotal stage that changed me, particularly in terms of feeling like I was never good enough 😥.
In fact, during one session, my therapist asked me the killer question: but why do you feel that way? Which led to a question that was even more trying, bringing me to the point of tears 💔: why are you so hard on yourself?
That’s when I realized and understood. I didn’t have enough self-confidence. I was convinced that I wasn’t “enough”, that I was a cardboard cutout of a human who wasn’t worthy of being loved.
It’s so hard to realize that, even if you’re aware of it, it’s always complicated to admit to yourself that you don’t think you’re good enough for others, for a job or even to tell yourself that what you’re doing with your life isn’t great.
Once you become aware of this cruel lack of self-confidence, you need to fight. Fight against yourself to prove that you’re good enough. How do you do that? It’s not an easy path to follow, the proof is that I’ve been working on it for years, but I’ve made considerable progress 💪.
You need to learn to dismantle this limiting belief by telling yourself that just because you have this thought doesn’t mean it’s true. One piece of advice I’ve been given, and which I like to give as well, is to repeat the phrase: “I’m not my thoughts”.
It teaches us to distance ourselves from our cognitive distortions, which make us believe that we’re not good enough. It’s all in our heads, although of course negative life experiences can reinforce this thinking. However, that in no way means that it’s true 😣.
Once you learn to fight that “I’m never good enough”, the way’s clear for love. Be careful, I’m not talking about falling in love with another person to compensate for an emotional dependency (which is also very often linked to a lack of self-confidence 🤐). No, I’m talking about self-love, believing in yourself and being kind to yourself. Stop being self-critical and learn to celebrate your victories, however small.
Read; I can't stand criticism, here's why
🚐 For example, for me, it meant buying a minivan and fitting it out myself. Gosh, I was so proud when I saw what I’d achieved! |
Setting yourself achievable goals does a lot of good. You shouldn’t try to achieve perfection, but do things according to your own abilities. Every little step forward deserves to be recognized and appreciated, and that’s what helps us feel love for ourselves.
And we should also remember that mistakes are part of learning. Once again, no one’s perfect and that’s OK. All experience is good for growing!
👋 This article may help you with this process: How to manage your emotions better
Finally, one thing I’d like to say is that this thought doesn’t disappear overnight, nor do all the others linked to our lack of confidence.
Whenever I meet a man, I always feel that I’m not good enough for him. When I go for an interview or look at my artwork, it’s the same. But I try to pull myself together and tell myself that I’m worth it. Getting caught up in your self-fulfilling prophecies and negative thoughts isn’t the way to live and be happy. You lock yourself in your own mental prison, which only creates pain.
Let’s develop the wonderful person you are. Let’s learn to be patient with yourself by never giving up. And let’s ask for help when you can’t fight your own demons because, after all, it’s hard to do it on your own 🥺.
Editor’s note: Need a helping hand...If after devouring this article, you still feel faced with a mountain of doubts about your worth, perhaps it’s time to consider a professional helping hand. A psychologist. Think of it like a date, but instead of looking for love, you’re looking for self-love. Maybe with a little help, you’ll start to see yourself as the incredible person you really are. If you’re tired of playing cat and mouse with your negative thoughts, a psychologist could be a great help. Come on! It’s time to take action and transform that feeling of “never good enough” into “more than enough”. 🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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Article presented by Rosie Harlow
Writing has always been a form of therapy for me. For as long as I can remember, I have always used paper as a punching bag. Get to know me, I am Rosie Harlow.
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