Is My Mom A Narcissist? 10 Things Narcissistic Mothers Do

Last updated by Katie M.

Do you remember back in the day when you were a teen and constantly fought with your parents, and in particular your mom? Whether it was because you wanted to stay out past your curfew or chose to parade around in your new miniskirt, many of us have faced constant battles with our mothers. However, for those of us dealing with a narcissistic mom, the problems don’t stop when we finish puberty, no, in fact, they stick with us throughout our lives and make it impossible for us to establish a healthy relationship with the person who brought us into the world. Now, if the scenarios below seem all too familiar, then you might just have been raised by a narcissist.

Is My Mom A Narcissist? 10 Things Narcissistic Mothers Do

10 Confirmation signs your mom is a narcissist

How many of them have you had to experience over the years?

1) She wants to control YOUR every move and decision

Whether it was your choice of college, or even where you live, if your mom encrusts herself in every realm of your adult life, then your relationship is certainly toxic. Having a hands-on mom around is great, but that doesn’t mean that she has the right to overstep the boundaries and force you to follow her will. Moms are there to advise us and support us, not to control us and dictate our lives. That's right, the sense of entitlement is intimidating and will most likely drive you absolutely crazy.

2) She’ll disapprove of all your friends and partners

The bottom line is that she is never satisfied and never agrees with any of your decisions, because she wants to be the one making them for you. She doesn’t want you to be your own person and will therefore criticize everything you do to forge your own character and way in life. In her eyes, no one is ever good enough for her baby and no one ever will be, unless she decides so.

>>> Discover; Can a narcissist become obsessed with someone?

3) Narcissist moms never say ‘I love you’

If your mom is a narcissist, then you’ll probably struggle to remember times when she was affectionate and loving towards you, even during your childhood. You no doubt never got to enjoy hugs, kisses on your forehead or gentle words of encouragement from her when you needed them most, and that’s because she was, and still is, too wrapped up in herself to care enough.

4) She’ll put you down

She’ll tell you that you’ve put on weight or that she doesn’t like your new haircut, because for her, nothing is out of bounds. Now, although many of us might choose to put these hurtful remarks down to a slip of the tongue, they are in fact signs of narcissistic abuse. In fact, anything your mom says to negatively impact your self-confidence is a sign that she is toxic for you and your mental health.

5) She’ll manipulate your feelings and opinions

Having a narcissistic personality disorder means you can’t resist the idea of being in control and in order to gain the power that you so desperately desire, you’ll do anything, including manipulating your own children. From making up rumors to inventing stories, these dangerous moms know every dirty trick in the book to keep their kids under their influence.

6) She won’t support you

If, for example, you have been offered a new job or even a promotion, your mom will never encourage you to go for it, instead, she’ll make you doubt your capacities and openly put you down in front of other people. Her reluctance to support you can be traced back to her jealousy and the fact that she doesn’t want other people to believe her own daughter is more successful than her.

7) She’ll pretend to use tough love on you

Whenever you find the courage to confront her regarding her behavior, she always manages to turn the situation around and convince you that you are the problem. It’s you who is being sensitive, and it’s you who is unable to accept her so-called tough love. Narcissistic moms never take responsibility for their actions, not even towards their own children...

8) She’ll lie

Lies constantly spew out of her mouth, to the point where you are truly unable to tell when she is actually telling the truth.

>>> Find out why we lie.

9) She’ll guilt-trip you

Making you feel guilty is her number one priority because she wants to paint herself out to be a victim. She wants to appear as downtrodden and helpless, and will do whatever it takes to change the narrative when you begin to confront and expose her toxicity.

10) She’ll never apologize

She simply doesn’t possess the courage to utter the words ‘I’m sorry’...

>>> Discover the signs a married man is using you

What are the strategies for dealing with a narcissistic mother? - 5 Techniques that work

When you feel like your mother is a bully and that your relationship is very one-sided, it can be easy to despair, however, there are certain proven methods that help turn even the most toxic of relationships into healthy ones;

  • 1) Set boundaries - Be clear on what is acceptable and what completely crosses the line for you.
  • 2) Stay calm - No matter what she does or says, don’t let her get under your skin, and opt for the high road.
  • 3) Talk to a professional - Opening up to a health care professional will feel like a weight lifted off your shoulders.
  • 4) Don’t expect anything from her - Lowering your expectations of her will make it easier for you to swallow whenever she disappoints you.
  • 5) Take back control - You need to turn the situation around and regain power. To do this, you need to reevaluate the influence she has in your life and reduce it by becoming the decision-maker.

>>> Read; Do we have to love our parents?

 📍 FAQ: What's the difference between a controlling mom and a narcissistic mom? 📍 

A narcissistic mom and a controlling mom may have similarities in their behaviors, but there are also important differences between the two. A narcissistic mom is one who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or significant narcissistic traits. Narcissistic moms tend to be self-centered, have a constant need for admiration and validation, and lack empathy for others, including their own children. They may use their children to feed their self-esteem and expect to be the center of attention at all times. They can also be manipulative, emotionally exploitative and have difficulty meeting their children's emotional needs. Narcissistic moms tend to value their own image and need over those of their children.

On the other hand, a controlling mom is one who tends to exert excessive control over her children's lives. She may have an excessive fear of her children's failure or vulnerability, and try to control everything to protect them. She may make all the decisions for them, impose strict rules, and find it difficult to grant them a degree of autonomy. A controlling mom may have good intentions, but her behavior can be stifling for children, limiting their development of independence and self-confidence.

It's important to note that both types of behavior can have detrimental consequences for children's emotional well-being. Children raised by narcissistic or controlling moms may struggle to develop healthy self-esteem, set personal boundaries, and thrive in interpersonal relationships.

How to walk away from a narcissistic mother?

Distancing yourself from a narcissistic mother can be a difficult process, but here are some suggestions that may help:

  • Recognize narcissistic behaviors: Learn about the characteristics and behaviors associated with narcissism, so you can better understand your mother's behavior. This can help you step back emotionally and avoid internalizing abusive or manipulative behaviors.

  • Set clear limits: Set clear, firm limits on what you are willing to accept and tolerate from your mother. Identify behaviors or situations that are toxic or harmful to you, and decide what steps you can take to protect yourself.

  • Prioritize your emotional well-being: Put your emotional well-being first. Take care of yourself, make time for activities that bring you joy, and surround yourself with people who support and understand you.

  • Set communication limits: If interactions with your mother are often stressful or harmful, you may consider reducing the frequency of contact or limiting the ways in which you communicate. This may mean reducing phone calls, limiting face-to-face meetings, or even blocking certain forms of communication if necessary.

Editor’s opinion - Sometimes walking away is the healthiest decision

Children of narcissistic parents will know how painful and draining it is to maintain a relationship with them, so why not walk away once and for all and break free? Hear me out! As with any toxic relationship; be it with a boyfriend or a friend, we always advise putting our mental health first and taking the distance necessary in order to protect ourselves, so why wouldn’t we do the same with our moms too? Although cutting your mom off may seem a little extreme to some, if she is dangerous for your mental health and makes you feel terrible about yourself, you don’t really have a lot to lose in the grand scheme of things. Life is too short to spend it with people who drag us down, despite our blood link with them.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Connect with an advisor

Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

This helps so much. I feel like I can never be right with my mother. I will definitely be paying attention to the signs.

Kaitlyn Forno 2 years ago

Read our latest articles here:

Who Do Narcissists Target?

If reading up on narcissists terrifies you, you probably already realize how dangerous their toxic personalities can be. Although, that being said, I’m probably going to add to the list of reasons as to why you should be ultra wary of these abusers, by revealing who they prey on. One thing that can be said about narcissists is that they certainly aren’t predictable people! 😱 Plus, spoiler alert, they don’t necessarily always choose to emotionally abuse seemingly weak people, no, in fact, they often choose bigger fish to fry because they love a challenge. Discover the types of personalities they hone in on and why.

Why Is A Narcissist So Mean To Me?

Narcissists are certainly complicated creatures, and it doesn't take a lot for them to decide that they are going to make your life a living hell. That's right, their sensitivity coupled with their need to conserve their lies make them very vicious and potentially dangerous in what they are prepared to do to preserve their identity. Discover the 10 reasons why a narcissist is being so mean and hateful towards you. Time to find out what triggers their bullying instincts!

5 Scary Things A Narcissist Smear Campaign Involves

We hear so much about these emotional abusers in every walk of life that we are sometimes so overloaded with information regarding them, meaning we often miss the red flags that, in hindsight, seem blatantly obvious. These vindictive manipulators often use smear campaigns as a way of getting back at their victims and villainizing them publicly. That's right, these evil campaigns are an effective method for them to change the narrative of the abuse, and to present themselves as victims, when in reality they are the perpetrators of the terror.

Narcissist Silent Treatment: Why They Use It And How To Combat It

If you've ever been involved with a narcissist, you'll know exactly how dangerous and vindictive they can be. Now, they won't use physical violence to break their victims down, although the tactics they use are just as painful and debilitating. These slippery characters operate under the shadow of darkness and use subtle mind games and tactics in order to exert a maximum amount of control and manipulation over their prey. You have no doubt already guessed it, but in case you haven't yet, the silent treatment is a narcissist's go-to tactic when it comes to punishing their victims and taking control of them. Find out here why these abusers use this method and how to deal with it.

My Ex Slept With Someone Right After Our Breakup - Help!

We are all unique individuals, and we, therefore, go about handling breakups and the other obstacles life throws our way, differently. Now, when it comes to breakups, there are those of us that almost become celibate and decide that they can't stand the idea of getting to know anyone ever again. Then, on the other hand, there are those that fill their phones with dating apps and jump from one one-night stand to the next. This second scenario may seem harmless, but once we dig a little deeper into the repercussions of it, we soon realize that sleeping with other people so freshly out of a relationship masks troubling sentiments of unhappiness and uneasiness.

Why Do I Get Upset When Someone Doesn't Text Back?

Friday night rolls around and after a hard week you were expecting to have a drink with a girlfriend, but she seems to have left you hanging on read... To make matters worse (and the humiliation?) you even saw the little typing sign appear, yet you never received a reply. Well, if that’s the case, obviously you or your "how about a drink tonight?" didn’t deserve an answer. Let’s take a look at why some people don't reply to messages, and why when someone doesn't reply to your text, this makes us feel so bad.

What Is Narcissist Discard? - Here's Everything It Entails And How To Cope

The most important thing to understand when dealing with a narcissist is that their reign of terror won't last forever. Now, whilst their torment underway, it will no doubt be one of the most harrowing things you can mentally go through. However, when the abuser decides they've had enough of you, they'll halt their horrific abuse and look for someone else. People with narcissistic personality disorders are constantly on the lookout for new prey and when they find someone who fills their criteria, they'll move into the discarding phase of their plan. After all, they aren't very eco-friendly, their motto is out with the old, in with the new! Here's your guide to this coping through this stage; what to expect, and how to deal with it.

Are Covert Narcissists Dangerous?

The concept of covert narcissism, or as it’s also known, ‘vulnerable narcissism’ is a fairly recent one. Now, these terms may seem pretty harmless, but the reality couldn’t be any more serious. The truth is covert narcissists present themselves to the world as anxious, socially uncertain, sullen, and withdrawn, yet, in actual fact, they share the same grandiose and unemphatic traits as their exhibitionist counterparts 😱. That’s right, these folks are just as equally skilled in the dark arts of manipulation as overt narcissists, although, they tend to hide their true intentions with more finesse, making them even more dangerous. Learn here why they are so dangerous, what they do, and what they say.

How Narcissists Treat Their Exes

Walking away and definitively closing the door on your relationship with a narcissistic ex-partner is one of the most emotionally draining challenges you can face. After all, these manipulative bullies are never willing to just let bygones be bygones, and always want to have the final word after the break-down of a relationship 😈. Besides, when narcissists get dumped, their inner demon raises its ugly head and becomes determined to (metaphorically) destroy their ex-partner.

What Do Narcissists Hate The Most? - 10 Things That Drive Them Crazy

Knowing what narcissist manipulators hates can help victims to break free from their evil psychological grip. Indeed, even these manipulators see themselves as invulnerable beings, their victims often ignore how their pathological narcissism makes them suffer in many ways. 😱 Let's take a closer look at what these cunning beings cannot stand, and what exactly drives them wild. Now, we all get angry for one reason or another, but people with this personality disorder have different triggers related to the things they despise.



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack