I’m Having Doubts About My Relationship; Is It Normal? How Should I React?

Last updated by Rosie Harlow

This happens often. Since life in a relationship, and even love, are never a smooth ride, of course, I have my doubts 😵‍💫. Not on the same wavelength, the impression that the grass is greener on the other side, different plans… Under the weight of doubts, love loses its splendor. Can it be fixed? I don’t think so, but the important thing is to know how to react.

I’m Having Doubts About My Relationship; Is It Normal? How Should I React?

Why am I having doubts about my relationship?

Some people may have doubts because they’re worried. It’s in their nature. Life is one big uncertainty and the fear of failing guides every decision. For others, it’s another story. Doubts can come from the feeling that they are no longer one, that they have drifted apart. Today, a relationship is a connection: we want to be on the same wavelength emotionally, psychologically and sexually.

🤯 You no longer have the same vision of life; you want different things. Your expectations have changed since the beginning of your relationship, and you’re no longer completely satisfied, you could even say that frustration is starting to show. And there is clearly reason to have doubts! How can you continue to live in a relationship that no longer fulfills you completely? So what? Shouldn’t you make any more efforts to save your relationship? Draw a line under it and move on. Maybe, maybe not. Before making a decision, it’s important to think about it.

>>> Find out why people no longer fight to save their relationships

When in doubt, ask yourself the following questions…

🧐 In a relationship, doubt isn’t fatal. It won’t lead to an immediate break-up, but it can offer some food for thought and point out what works and above all what doesn’t. The best way to get rid of doubts is therefore… to ask yourself the right questions and answer them.

1. What is the root of the problem?

Here you must question the very root of your doubts. Is it an overall questioning of your life? Do you want a profound change, or is it only your relationship that no longer gives you what you need? Dare to look things head on and question your relationship: are you still happy?

2. Have we spoken to each other?

A couple is two people. There are things you have to dare to say to each other in a relationship, and telling your partner that you are having doubts is almost essential. Indeed, your partner may also be having doubts, and you may realize that a lack of or poor communication are sometimes the reason for unhappiness in a relationship. Talk about your doubts freely and as honestly as possible. You may end up finding a way to silence them together.

3. Is this the end?

We often think, wrongly, that having doubts leaves the door wide open for a break-up and a broken heart, but having doubts about our relationship can also be a warning signal that encourages us to take better care of ourselves, our relationship and our life. To avoid dwelling on it, we learn to let go and give ourselves a real chance. We can focus on the positive and tell ourselves that the doubts we’re feeling are proof that there are still reasons to stay… or that it’s no longer worth fighting for. Either way, don’t rush, doubts are part of life and there’s no need to solve them immediately. We can also choose to take our time.

4. Am I eternally dissatisfied?

Yes or no, it doesn’t matter. As I was saying, doubts are part of life, so there’s no need to blame yourself because you’re no longer sure about yourself. Love and relationships are very important. Too important to be locked in a relationship in which both parties no longer share enough.

5. How about a break?

Taking a break in a relationship can sometimes be a solution, but it doesn’t come without risk. A successful break requires several rules: it must be a consensual decision, distance is essential, and communication beforehand is vital to establish your own rules. Whether fidelity is imposed, the length of the break, daily or weekly calls, etc.

A break is a difficult time, but it can provide answers to our questions. Then, let’s not forget that a relationship needs to be nurtured to survive. After having doubts, you will therefore have to renew contact with the help of couple’s therapy, if necessary. If, on the other hand, you choose not to return, you should announce your decision as soon as possible. You know what they say, it’s better to rip the plaster off in one go!

>>> Check out this article; Is taking a break the secret to saving your relationship?

📍 FAQ; Is it OK to have doubts about a relationship? 📍

Doubt is not limited to the beginning of a relationship and is totally fine to have. It can also arise when life changes or important decisions are made. For example, the arrival of a child, a move or a change of job can all be triggers. These moments are often turning points in a relationship, and it's natural to wonder. "Are we ready to become parents?" or "Is this move the best thing for our relationship?" are legitimate questions that can arise.

Doubts can also arise during existential crises. These periods of questioning can be triggered by events such as job loss, the death of a loved one or even approaching a certain age. In these moments, it's not uncommon to wonder whether our partner is really the person we want to get through these trials with. "Is our love strong enough?" or "Do we share the same values and life goals?" are questions that can then take on particular importance.

How to tell if you’re not right for each other - 3 Signs that don’t lie

The best thing you can do to figure out if the man you’re dating is right for you, is to listen to your intuition. But our intuition isn’t always enough, and when that’s the case, you should look for other signs that reveal whether you need to move on or change your course. In the end, no one can make that decision but you.

1) He is not right for you if you don't accept his flaws

 Many people imagine that their ideal partner is perfect, a sort of semi-god who will solve all their problems and turn everyday life into a fairy tale. The real way to find out if he is right for you, however, is to find out if you are able to accept the flaws of the person you love. He's the one for you if you can accept his loud burps, his bad musical taste, or his chronic mess without grinding your teeth.

2) Admit that he's not your soulmate if you don't look forward to seeing him.

 Contrary to what you might think, you're not going to feel like you're in heaven 24/7 with him if he's the right man for you. But you're not going to feel anything when you're about to see him or go to his house if he's really not right for you. You should be looking forward to seeing him if he is the one for you.

3) Don't insist if he doesn't have the same vision of the future as you.

 If he's the one for you, you'll already have to think about what you'll do for the rest of your lives, whether that means getting married, having kids, or anything else that involves a traditional relationship or whether it involves a free union and lots of things to explore together. You know he's not the one for you if you're thinking about your near future or even what you'll be doing next summer without imagining him by your side.

Editor’s note: Having doubts is normal!

You’ve seen that it’s normal to have doubts about your relationship! However, if these doubts persist, if you feel lost or if you’re no longer sure about anything… It’s best to contact a psychologist who will help you find your place in your relationship and understand what’s going on inside you.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to read these articles too:

Article presented by
Rosie, Harlow

"Writing has always been a form of therapy for me. For as long as I can remember, I have always used paper as a punching bag. Get to know me, I am Rosie Harlow."

Read our latest articles here:

5 Tips to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone: Embrace the Unknown!

I’m starting to get tired of the routine and daily grind. Yet, I’m hesitant to step out of my comfort zone and take the leap. My bubble is reassuring, and so far, I’ve thrived in it, but I no longer want to be held back by the fear of trying new things. Stepping out of your comfort zone brings many benefits, so how can you dare to take the plunge? Here are 5 tips to get started! 💪

New Year’s Resolutions: Choose Them Wisely or Give Yourself a Break!

We tend to think of New Year as a sort of fresh start, making it the perfect time to break a bad habit and adopt a better one. After all, we all want to be better, so it’s natural to want to make good resolutions to bring about change. But what happens when we don’t stick to them? After years and years of watching t-shirts pile up because “this year, I’m starting to exercise” and never following through, hello, sense of failure! So, what do we do with New Year’s resolutions? Do we choose better ones or just forget about them altogether? 🥳

What is Neuroatypicality? Why Is It Being Talked About?

If there’s one article I was eager to write for Wengood, it’s this one. I’m part of what’s called the “neuro-A” community, in other words, “neuroatypical” individuals. It might be a term you’ve heard before without really knowing what it means. So, what is neuroatypicality or neurodivergence? Is it an illness? A personality trait? A way of functioning? If you’re asking yourself these questions, you’re in the right place—I’m here to answer them.

Intermittent Explosive Disorder: When Anger Becomes Destructive

Intense anger outbursts, disproportionate verbal and physical aggression… These are all signs that may indicate intermittent explosive disorder (IED). I know what I’m talking about because someone in my family has it. For a long time, I struggled to understand their explosive anger reactions. I think they themselves didn’t know why they reacted that way… until they were diagnosed. Let me explain.

How to Dare to Approach Others? 7 Tips to Follow

The big introvert that I am has long struggled to approach others. It’s true that taking a step toward someone isn’t easy, especially when you’re dealing with additional challenges: introversion, lack of self-confidence, social anxiety… Having experienced all of this myself, but having made progress over the past few years, I have a few tips to share with you so that you too can come out of your shell. Let’s get started!

The Psychological Impact of a Burglary: How to Overcome It?

If I’ve never experienced a burglary as an adult, I did go through it during my childhood. I remember the uneasy feeling of knowing that strangers had entered our home. I kept wondering if they would come back… The psychological impact of a burglary should not be underestimated. What does it trigger? How can one overcome the feelings of fear and insecurity? Let me share my thoughts with you.

Is Working With Your Partner A Good Or Bad Idea?

Sharing everything with your partner is a sign of a healthy relationship for some people, even when it comes to working. However, that being said, for others, working with their partner just seems like a bad idea and the perfect recipe for tension. Do we need to separate our personal and professional lives, or is it okay to blur the lines and mix everything? After all, what could do wrong? Find out how to cope when your significant other is also your coworker!

My Sister Is Jealous Of Me

“In any case, you’re the favorite.” I’ve heard this phrase coming from my sister’s mouth over and over again. For a long time, her jealousy spoiled our lives, but I only wanted one thing: for us to be close and united. She poured her resentment in my face for many years until it got out of control. I couldn’t stand feeling so much anger and guilt at the same time. Soothing 30 years of jealousy hasn’t been easy, but there are ways to avoid getting to that point. I didn’t want jealousy to cut me off from my sister!

How Do Narcissistic People Treat Their Children?

Growing up with narcissistic parents is certainly no easy feat, because, let's face it, people with this disorder are unsympathetic, selfish, manipulative, egotistical, and dishonest, yes, that's right, these traits aren't exactly those showcased by the parents of the year. Realistically, these folks simply don't have the basic qualities required to become good parents, which is why, when they choose to have a family, things often spin out of control, and the narcissistic abuse undoubtedly crushes children's mental health.

Why Do I Want To Seduce Everyone? Compulsive Seduction Explained

Is the gaze and approval of others essential for you? Are you incapable of saying no? Do you do everything you can to get yourself noticed? This excessive need to please may well be indicative of a profound uneasiness. Why do you need to feel validated by other people so much? And how can you free yourself from this oppressing tendency? We reveal everything you need to know for a more straightforward lifestyle.



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack