Wanting things to go well is perfectly normal, but sometimes this need for perfection can represent a huge barrier in our lives. Do you have trouble not giving in to the temptation of micromanaging everything in your life? Does leaving things to chance make you nervous and put you on edge? Where does your need to control everything come from? Letting go and becoming more easygoing will change everything for you and help you start living your best life. Discover how to let loose and free yourself from this need.
Wanting to be in control probably isnāt just restricted to your general organization, it no doubt spills into every area of your life. Emotions are also things people like us need to manage from A ā Z, whether itās reigning in your fears, avoiding tears, or dodging affection to sidestep judgment.
Life is full of unexpected events, both positive and negative. These events, especially when they are unexpected, often have a bigger impact on us than we think and only fuel our need to be in control. Taking control is a synonym of feeling strong and powerful, or in other words, a tactic to protect yourself from pain.
Perfectionism is frequently linked to the need to manage everything. Oftentimes, if you attempt to micromanage everything, you likely suffer from a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. Wanting to direct everything could also imply that you are afraid of disappointing people and letting them down. Satisfying everyone is virtually impossible, but many of us convince ourselves that we can succeed in putting a smile on everyoneās face.
>>> We think you might like; 10 morning routines that take less than 5 minutes
The answer is yes! By trying to influence everything, you lose who you really are, and the disappointments that youāll encounter could completely demoralize you. Coming across difficult obstacles is a natural part of life and cannot be changed no matter what you do, or how hard you work.
When we take control issues too far, problems with depression could even appear when we encounter failure. Perfectionism often appears in cases where people have been through a divorce and are trying to work on themselves afterwards. On the surface, trying to be perfect doesnāt sound harmful, but in reality, it drives wedges in relationships with your partner and even yourself.
>>> Discover the effects stress has on our skin
The first step of letting go is learning how to relax. If you struggle to unwind, contacting a life coach could be the solution for you. Finding a haven of serenity will give you the foundations you need to forget about your troubles and take your foot off the gas. Slowing down your rhythm will help you reconnect with your body and your loved ones.
The next step is learning to open up to other people naturally without controlling your emotions. Knowing how much you mean to your friends and family will make moments with them so much more special. Break down the barriers and reveal who you really are.
>>> 10 Tips on how to let go and feel freer than ever
Insecurity is the main reason for the need to control your partner. Despite the fact that, quite often, controlling people display an image of self-confidence and security, the truth is that they generally have low and unhealthy self-esteem. Trying to manipulate or force the other person to think, feel and act as we want only indicates that we don't feel capable of maintaining a relationship in which both people are free. There may be thoughts of devaluation and fear that the other person will discover that we're not so good, that a relationship with us isn't worthwhile, or that there are better options. Those with good self-esteem are aware of their strengths and weaknesses and, even so, consider themselves valuable and worthy of love and respect. As a result, they don't fear comparisons and don't need to restrict their partner's actions or social circle.
Editorās note ā Take things step by stepLetting go of the reigns may seem like an insurmountable task, but it should be approached slowly and surely. The best place to start is by turning to people you trust to help you to plan things. If you have an event to plan, such as a birthday party or even a wedding, why not get a friend on board and take off some pressure. Letting other people into your personal bubble to assist you will restore your confidence and show you how helpful it can be in reducing your stress. š¤ Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Letās do it here and now! #BornToBeMe |
More interesting content:
Article presented by Katie M.
š» Discover the world through my eyes.
Life is full of unexpected things. Sometimes we have nice surprises, sometimes we experience traumatic events. The latter can lead to what we call an āadjustment disorderā. I experienced this when my mother died. The shock was so immense that I couldnāt cope anymore. If you feel like youāre going through a very difficult period after a shock, you may also be affected by adjustment disorder. Letās talk about it.
Getting involved in a romantic relationship can bring back many painful memories, which may prevent you from experiencing new things in your emotional life. Fear of loving, committing, being abandoned, feeling betrayed, suffering: these are all ideas that can fuel your fears. Hereās our advice on how to overcome this fear of relationships, also known as philophobia. Let me explain.
In the dating world, thereās a word for everything. Thatās how I came to learn the name of something very unpleasant that happened to me several years ago. Iād been on a few Tinder dates, things were going well, but from one day to the next Iād heard nothing. I wasnāt in love, so it was fine. However, I found it hard to move on, because he couldnāt stop looking at my Instagram stories and following me keenly... Itās called orbiting. Why do this? How do you react to this behavior?
You're probably thinking that once a narcissist has upped sticks and fled, he'll never dare to show his face again, however, quite the opposite is true. The reality is that these folks are like bad smells, there's no getting rid of them quickly, therefore regardless of all the pain, hurt, and trauma they've put their victims through, they'll always make a comeback, just to prove that they are still in control šØ. In fact, no matter how much time has passed, these torturous monsters will always eventually rear their ugly heads, just to get in that one last vicious blow. Discover which 10 circumstances they'll decide to show up in their exes' lives.
The other day, I was sitting in a restaurant with a friend when I saw a waiter arrive with a birthday cake for the next table. The scene gave me a feeling of dread! Generally speaking, I hate this kind of surprise, especially if thereās an audience around. I know Iām not the only one who feels this way, and as I know a thing or two about psychology, Iāll explain.
One day, I was chatting with a friend when she explained that she had started using the PERMA method. At first, I thought she was talking to me about gardening (permaculture š¬), but not at all. I looked into it by reading several books and articles to discover that itās an approach to feeling happier. I wanted to talk to you about it, is it really a way to achieve happiness and well-being? Let me explain.
Crying in front of an advert? Done ā . Being disturbed by the slightest noise? Of course ā . Not being able to deal with negative emotions? Sure ā . All hypersensitive people experience this on a daily basis. At least, I do. Yes, Iām part of team emotions! Itās already difficult for me, so when Iām in a relationship, I know my partnerās lost. So Iāve written a little guide to help people who live with a hypersensitive person on a daily basis.
Iām one of those people who doesnāt put work at the center of my life. On the other hand, I have a friend who does, to the point where her body gives out regularly. Clearly, her work is her raison dāĆŖtre and she gives everything. Perhaps a little too much. Thatās why I wanted to write this article, to remind her to be careful! Maybe it will help you too, especially if you feel that your careerās taking up all the space in your life.
āWhich folder do I need to put these videos in again? And how does it work to do the videos? Can you help me? Iām really struggling...ā. I think weāve all encountered these words and this kind of situation at work. Sometimes people really are lost, sometimes you get the feeling that theyāre lacking motivation and that they just donāt want to do it. And thatās precisely what strategic incompetence is. Why is this a problem? Iāll explain all.
Imagine youāre having breakfast, youāre heating up your tea or coffee, and you get the urge to toast some bread. Everythingās going well, you sit down at the table and butter your toast. Then all of a sudden, clumsily, the toast falls to the floor. Obviously, it falls on the wrong side, the butter side, and picks up all the dust and hairs lying around on the tiles. YUM! But it seems that itās not all bad that the sandwich falls on this side... Letās explain!
