I often say that I’m a big introvert and that I love being alone. It’s true that I struggle with being around people all the time, but recently, I’ve realized how important social connection is for feeling good. Choosing solitude is one thing, but being forced into it is another. Why do we need others so much? What impact does it have on us? I’ll share my experience with you.
I recently moved to a new region. At first, I was quite busy with the move 📦. However, as the weeks went by, I started feeling more and more lonely. Since I work remotely, it’s been difficult to meet new people 😕…
We feel loneliness and suffering when we realize that our social relationships are not fulfilling, whether in terms of quantity or quality. That’s exactly how I felt—I had friends, but they were far away, and I missed having someone nearby to grab a coffee with or go shopping 😔.
Millions of people suffer from loneliness, and it has a harmful effect on our health, comparable to smoking, according to psychiatrist Boris Cyrulnik.
At the same time, humans are social animals. We need others to grow, to thrive, and to give meaning to our existence. Without social connections, we don’t fulfill one of our fundamental needs (the third in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs).
The feeling we get is that we feel useless and unloved. Everyone needs social connections, even the most introverted or grumpiest among us. When we interact with someone, our brain releases dopamine and oxytocin, the hormones of happiness and attachment 🧠.
That’s exactly how I felt after not having any friends in my new region for so long.
Jacques Salomé, a psychiatrist and communication specialist, emphasizes the importance of social snacking:
"It’s in the little details, the small gestures, that the essence of our relationship with others is found."
👉 We must therefore learn to reach out to others, even if we’re afraid, even if we feel like we can manage on our own. We need to make the effort to meet new people. After all, to receive, you must first give.
That’s what I decided to do—I took the bull by the horns and dared to go out alone. I went to a board game night near my home. I was terrified, but in the end, it went well, and people welcomed me with open arms 🥺. I made connections, superficial at first, but they grew deeper over time.
I also relied on the internet. Yes, social media has its downsides, but it also has its good sides. I started connecting with people through Discord and Instagram, and later met them in person. Yes, it’s possible to make new friends that way too 🤗!
In fact, the secret to not being lonely anymore, is kindness. By opening up to others and accepting to be shaken out of our habits, we create a climate of trust and sympathy. And this applies no matter our situation, whether we’re 85, unemployed, or new to a region (😬). We can have a new circle of friends if we don’t withdraw into ourselves.
We must cultivate our social connections, because after all, happiness is a journey, and that journey involves others, as Christophe André said! A smile here, a kind word there, and we plant seeds of happiness and connection 🌱. It’s not complicated; it just takes being authentic, generous, and attentive. And you’ll see, the magic happens: people smile at you, conversations start, and friendships are formed.
The editorial opinion: Seek help if neededTaking care of your mental health is just as important as maintaining good physical health. Social connection is crucial for our psychological well-being. It’s important to note that sometimes, despite all our efforts to build relationships and break out of our bubble, we may feel overwhelmed or unsatisfied with our social connections. In those moments, it’s not only courageous, but also necessary to seek help. Consulting a psychologist provides a safe space to explore your feelings, understand your relational needs, and develop strategies to improve your emotional well-being. So, if you feel the need to talk to someone, don’t hesitate to reach out to a psychologist. 🤗 Understanding ourselves, accepting ourselves, being happy... It starts here and now! |
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